“I thank the universe
for taking
everything it has taken
and giving to me
everything it is giving.”
~Rupi Kaur
About two months ago I turned 21 years old at a time when I was not ready to be 21. I was failing if we go by the societal definition of success, heartbroken, depressed, dissociated and pushed beyond what I thought were my limits. I felt so alone I didn’t know how to go through everything I was facing but the universe has a way of realigning everything to work out. Here are some of the things I have learned in the past year that helped me survive and move up to where I am right now:
- Your 20’s are for you. For your failures, your successes, your growth, your pain, and your joy. You are fully responsible for how you achieve, share or use any of that. You owe yourself to be selfish with your 20’s.
- 98% of cool people online do not have personalities to match that depiction in real life.
- Strength doesn’t automatically equate to being pain-proof but rather being able to go through pain and rise from it. You are also stronger than I think.
- Take your time. The universe aligns things in a special and unique way to bring you what you need at the right time. Don’t be in a rush. Everything falls into place.
- Learn how to let go and attach your value to things that will not fail you easily. Grades, relationships, friendships and jobs are very transient. Detach your worth from things you have little to no control over. Raise your worth so high that none of those things can define you so when they fail you, you don’t feel void.
- Be present. Social media is fun but 1000 friends online do not equate to 1000 friends in real life. Be in the moment. Feed your inner urge and not the internet.
- Growth comes in big and small ways. It ranges from leaving that toxic relationship to accepting that your 3-month old mascara is no more and finally throwing it away. Pat yourself on the back for big and small strides. It’s the progress that counts.
- A little shade goes a long way. Thank me later.
- Be yourself. Let that laugh out, call people out, be blunt, don’t engage in small talks, be joyful and more if that’s all that defines you. Be in your natural state because when everything is gone all you’ll have left is you. What happens if you lost yourself in the first place? Don’t try to fit in.
- Laugh. Laugh until you cry. Laugh even when you cannot explain the source of your joy. Laugh because you feel happy and blessed. Laugh at the music in your head, the jokes from 2 weeks ago. Laugh whenever you need to.
- Forgive. Forgive for your own sake because forgiveness sets you free and bile bitters you and ages you. Forgive because you’ll need to, to move on to your next adventure.
- Moms are awesome. Moms are right. Moms are golden. Bless moms.
- Love. Immensely unconditionally and unrestrictedly as long as it does not deplete your energies. Does that guarantee that you will be loved back, in equal measure and for the right intentions? Absolutely not. But love anyway because love is a beautiful thing.
- My heart has an out-of-worldly capacity for love. Not everyone deserves it.
- Vulnerability is cool. I’m trying that more and more.
- Make mistakes. Don’t be fearful. Try whatever you want to do as long as it does not cause you or other people harm.
- Romantic love IS NOT the birth canal of real love. Romantic love has brought me joy, happiness, and so much content. But it has also brought me so much suffering, regret, hate and lack of self-worth. I have stopped seeking romantic love as my primary form of love. I have some amazing friends who have kept me safe and if I were to die today, let it be known that I knew real love because of them.
- Don’t mistake curiosity for care. Do not mistake fake concern for love.
- You are your main agenda. You come first. Always.
- Read all my blog posts. Yes, put that on your to-do list.
So 21 is the year I stop counting. It is the year I start living and striving to enjoy my life. It is the year I yearn for so much more and give to the universe. It is the year I slow down and breathe. Here’s to making mistakes, to new adventures, to growth.
Bonus:
21. Don’t half-ass anything!
