Everyone loves the idea of a new beginning. Whether it’s the thrill of a new lover or starting that #fitnessjourney. What most people don’t realize is that each day, each trial, is a chance to start a fresh and that they don’t have to wait for a new year or a new month to make a resolution.
Last year I grew so much from the subdued 19 year old Cynthia that America had created. I had gotten to a point where I was so downcast and gave the bare minimum to my friends, schoolwork and other activities I had vowed to fully commit to. Each time I thought about starting anew I would push it to the next month or the next semester and when I couldn’t bring myself to doing it I cancelled the whole thing or pushed it to the next year(2018). This was toxic and took me down a rough patch. In the process I lost some of my best relationships that I had then and some great opportunities in my life.
Going home to Kenya for the summer reignited the fire I had in me before and when the semester started I got my groove back. At first it was a struggle overcoming my imposter syndrome but I finally did and I haven’t been happier. I slowly got the grades I wanted, I reevaluated my commitment to activities on campus, I made friends who care about me and got rid of the ones that didn’t, I asked for more- more love, more attention, more time, more money. For the first time I became fully aware that I was a black African woman actively taking up space and rising in a space that was naturally not my own. And I loved it. Of course asking for more means I have to give more too. So that made me more committed to the things that I want and since then I haven’t stopped growing.
This year I want to create space for women like me. I want to speak even louder than before because I want to be heard. I want to keep enjoying my life off social media while I curate and create content online at the same time. I want to attract positive people because that’s the kind of person I am. I want to be more confident in myself and my achievements- however big or small. I want to appreciate my body more and make it stronger than ever before. I want to be happy that I can never be like anyone else just as they can never be like me. I want to stop comparing and start living. I want to take stock at the end of each day, month and semester and feel proud of how much I have accomplished. I hope you do the same.
So decide today, decide now and literally “live your best life” not for the gram but for you.
~chase whatever makes your heart race~
