MOMBASA RAHA: Beach edition

Yeah so apparently the head count of readers on my posts has ameliorated🙈🙈 and even mama wants a good read ☺☺. Thanks guys. I’m encouraged.

My first beach experience was interesting! You know the way people go to the beach in movies. Then they wear these hot two-string bikinis and rock their abs…..olutely flat tummies. Alafu they take a dip and come out whipping their wet hair back and forth. Well, none of that happened to me! But I just wanted to have that limelight moment where all of you think it did.

I arrived at Pirates beach Mombasa and felt like actual pirates had invaded the place. The infamous beach boys I had heard about stood staring at anything in a two-piece. I felt attacked. Darn! I felt violated. The stares were almost palpable. But I wasn’t letting anything or anyone gloom my shine so I gathered courage and changed into my swimsuit.

I ran towards the ocean, immersed myself in the salty water an came back out to find a group of rambunctious guys around me. Shosho had warned me that these beach boys like to take advantage of naïve girls from bara. They knew I was not a local. The Swahili accent I had faked during my late night arrival had faded. I could not keep up. Don’t blame me, I have a fast-paced speech.

I quickly swam back to shore before the real-life human-sharks got the better of me. Trying to imagine the look on my face still has me in stitches😂😂😂. Panic-striken, scared, desperate but still trying to keep a face. I sat on the white sand and started rubbing it against my skin. I had been told it’s good for the skin. I just wasn’t told that it’s not instant skin healing. So yes, the post-puberty acned skin still exists.

I sat there for a while before coming to a realisation that I looked nothing like what I imagined I would. I had MASSIVE hair shrinkage. Covered in sand, I looked like a mummy, except it was not linen cloth but white gravels of sand. And I was not deep in a quiet tomb but exposed to a woman-hungry crowd. The universe and I were completely out of sync.

I looked around for the madafu-guys I see on photos but there was none. Only more lustful beach boys 😭😭😭😭.Finally the word goals made sense and I thought of the Maldives. But here I was, alone and scared and trying to come in terms with the reality that my first beach experience is a total fail. In the face of misadventure I decided to make a friend (female). I can’t even remember her name. I must have been too rattled. But we had a good time. Suffice to say I never went back to that beach again. In the coming weeks I visited Mombasa beach, Nyali beach and Serena beach only. And in all occasions accompanied by a friend.

For the most part I had a good time.

#beachboys