Celibacy is a very personal journey. It refers to the vow to yourself to remain abstinent over an extended period of time. Some people do it for religious reasons or because they are simply asexual. Others do it to achieve a better physical and mental state or while some are getting over a breakup. As a single person, I am often choose to be celibate. It is not driven by any religious, medical or cultural factors. I choose to not be sexually active and thus I am a voluntary celibate. Some of the benefits and reasons include:
TO GET TO KNOW THE PEOPLE I AM DATING OUTSIDE OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY
Celibacy has been a great boosts for non-sexual intimacy with the people I date. Don’t get me wrong- this happens even when sex is involved but having more time and need to interact in non-sexual ways creates a new avenue to develop connections. I have grown to understand the differences between physical and emotional attraction much better. Consequently, I have developed a deeper desire to know people and find more common ground outside of sexual intimacy.
IT IS EMPOWERING AND CREATES SEXUAL DISCIPLINE
I personally think a commitment of any form is a show of discipline. In my life a few of the things involved are running, reading and long-term or short-term celibacy. Choosing whether or not to do something gives a sense of control and discipline. A sex-free lifestyle nurtured out of my own accord has felt empowering in the past.
NOT WORRYING ABOUT STIs, STDs OR PREGNANCY
Dating as a sexually active person can sometimes be an extreme sport especially if you are not doing it safely. A lot of people in non-monogamous (and monogamous too really) relationships go to great lengths to communicate boundaries, share health disclosures and maintain safety, but it is still not guaranteed! Let’s face it, people can lie and be selfish regardless of the consequences to you just to experience the pleasure of being sexually intimate with you. As someone who is not in a monogamous relationship, celibacy has been a sure way of avoiding all the anxiety involved in pregnancy scares or exposure to sexually transmitted diseases and infections.
MY ADVICE:
If you wish to be celibate, define your boundaries and make the commitment. It is a personal journey and you can [re]start it whenever you want. You can also choose to be abstinent which is more for the short-term as compared to being celibate. Are you or have you been celibate before? Share your experience and why you chose to do it and what are some of the benefits you got out of it?
